"When all u got to be is strong move along, move along like i know you do."
Here is the music video:
Enjoy and Goodnight.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Move Along: Music Video and Words to Live By
A long weekend of moving complete and now a long week of doctors appts, exams, and workups. A song to motivate myself- All American Rejects....
"When all u got to be is strong move along, move along like i know you do."
Here is the music video:
Enjoy and Goodnight.
"When all u got to be is strong move along, move along like i know you do."
Here is the music video:
Enjoy and Goodnight.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Grandpa's Cane and Grandma's Wisdom
Cancer sucks. The fight is full of moments that smack you upside the head and make you think that there is no hope. I had one of these moments yesterday. Ironically, it was my birthday and this moment both figuratively and literally brought me to my knees.
I went to visit Grandma before the evening’s activities and she opened her garage so that I could just park in the driveway and walk inside. However this time was different. I struggled and struggled to get out of my car. I must have tried 15 or so times before I was finally able to get out and stand up. Grandma could tell right away that I wasn’t walking as well as I had the last time that she had seen me. My cancer has swollen my feet, ankles, and legs to the point where I can barely dress myself or put on shoes. I slowly made my way inside so we could visit and I could snack on the delicious ice cream sandwiches she keeps in stock for Bradley and me.
I usually don’t admit that I am struggling or that I am not able to do what I once was capable of doing. Grandma could see that needed help and there was no way I was going to be able to let my pride deny my struggles. I broke down and told her that I needed help. I didn’t know what that help would be, but I knew deep down that I needed help. She knew exactly what I needed though and told me to wait a second as she went upstairs and got it. As she came around the kitchen and I could see what she was thinking, my eyes began to fill with tears. It was a cane. Not just any cane, but my Grandfather’s cane. I realized that she was right and that like it or not a cane would greatly help.
As many of you know my grandfather passed away in 2007 and that I have missed him every day since. So you can imagine my hesitation of using something that he had used because of the emotions that flooded into my conscience. My grandmother told me not to cry and to be happy. What? Be happy that I have to use a cane- no less Grandpa’s cane? Had she gone crazy? What she said to me next I never will forget. She told me that there really was no reason to be sad because now Grandpa would be walking with me all the time. He’d be right there in stride, step for step with me once again. This was something that I had longed for ever since he passed. She was right. It is comforting to have the security of the cane, but it is even better to have my Grandfather by my side again.
Despite the pain and difficulty my cancer has burdened me with, this visit with Grandma was one I know I will never forget. She was able to give me strength and a tool to help fight against this destructive disease. For this I am forever grateful. Today I am still struggling to walk and incredibly swollen, yet I am comforted in a way I haven’t been during my entire fight against cancer. Grandpa is right here at my side and he will help me beat cancer into remission. I had no idea a simple wooden cane could do so much. Thank you Grandma & Grandpa for always knowing what I need and for always being there for me. I love you both.
I went to visit Grandma before the evening’s activities and she opened her garage so that I could just park in the driveway and walk inside. However this time was different. I struggled and struggled to get out of my car. I must have tried 15 or so times before I was finally able to get out and stand up. Grandma could tell right away that I wasn’t walking as well as I had the last time that she had seen me. My cancer has swollen my feet, ankles, and legs to the point where I can barely dress myself or put on shoes. I slowly made my way inside so we could visit and I could snack on the delicious ice cream sandwiches she keeps in stock for Bradley and me.
I usually don’t admit that I am struggling or that I am not able to do what I once was capable of doing. Grandma could see that needed help and there was no way I was going to be able to let my pride deny my struggles. I broke down and told her that I needed help. I didn’t know what that help would be, but I knew deep down that I needed help. She knew exactly what I needed though and told me to wait a second as she went upstairs and got it. As she came around the kitchen and I could see what she was thinking, my eyes began to fill with tears. It was a cane. Not just any cane, but my Grandfather’s cane. I realized that she was right and that like it or not a cane would greatly help.
As many of you know my grandfather passed away in 2007 and that I have missed him every day since. So you can imagine my hesitation of using something that he had used because of the emotions that flooded into my conscience. My grandmother told me not to cry and to be happy. What? Be happy that I have to use a cane- no less Grandpa’s cane? Had she gone crazy? What she said to me next I never will forget. She told me that there really was no reason to be sad because now Grandpa would be walking with me all the time. He’d be right there in stride, step for step with me once again. This was something that I had longed for ever since he passed. She was right. It is comforting to have the security of the cane, but it is even better to have my Grandfather by my side again.
Despite the pain and difficulty my cancer has burdened me with, this visit with Grandma was one I know I will never forget. She was able to give me strength and a tool to help fight against this destructive disease. For this I am forever grateful. Today I am still struggling to walk and incredibly swollen, yet I am comforted in a way I haven’t been during my entire fight against cancer. Grandpa is right here at my side and he will help me beat cancer into remission. I had no idea a simple wooden cane could do so much. Thank you Grandma & Grandpa for always knowing what I need and for always being there for me. I love you both.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Number 1
Dear Friends and Family,
A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with stage two Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I have done eight rounds of chemotheraphy and radiation therapy in hopes of beating the cancer back into remission. In the process my immune system has been compromised a great deal. In the last three months, I have been hospitalized three times fighting off complications from having such a weakened immune system and the infections that do not seem to get any better.
This morning I am scheduled to have a bone marrow biopsy and my fight of my life will continue. I have a long and painful journey ahead of me, but I'm hopeful for more good days than bad ones. My family and close friends felt that it was important that I share this information as they, and I will need your prayers, support and love during this fight. To say that I am scared shitless might be an understatement, but I felt that as my friends you should know what is going on. You all know that I tend to be private about my personal affairs and I am letting you all know about this personal fight to allow my family and caregivers to ask for your support during this difficult time.
I am going to continue to fight the NHL with the courage and tenacity that my grandfather so bravely battled multiple myeloma with. He also battled prostate cancer with more patience, grace, and courage than anyone that I have ever met. It wasn't bad enough that he had to undergo chemotherapy and the painful, extensive testing that they do for bone marrow cancers, but having two cancers at the same time...come on now! Doctors appointments, hospital visits, bloodwork constantly being orderd.. can't the guy catch a break!. My grandfather's courage, albeit quiet at times, never wavered and it is this courage that he instilled in me that helps me get through those long, painful, "bad days".
With your continued prayers and support I know that I will not be a cancer patient forever. With my faith, courage and determination I am greatly looking forward to the day when I can proudly call myself a cancer survivor! I will try and be better about keeping you all updated on my progress as best I can. I pray that none of you ever have to undergo this fight, but if you do I promise to be right there in your corner encouraging you and giving you my love and support as you have done for me. Thank you and I love you all.
-Carleton
A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with stage two Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I have done eight rounds of chemotheraphy and radiation therapy in hopes of beating the cancer back into remission. In the process my immune system has been compromised a great deal. In the last three months, I have been hospitalized three times fighting off complications from having such a weakened immune system and the infections that do not seem to get any better.
This morning I am scheduled to have a bone marrow biopsy and my fight of my life will continue. I have a long and painful journey ahead of me, but I'm hopeful for more good days than bad ones. My family and close friends felt that it was important that I share this information as they, and I will need your prayers, support and love during this fight. To say that I am scared shitless might be an understatement, but I felt that as my friends you should know what is going on. You all know that I tend to be private about my personal affairs and I am letting you all know about this personal fight to allow my family and caregivers to ask for your support during this difficult time.
I am going to continue to fight the NHL with the courage and tenacity that my grandfather so bravely battled multiple myeloma with. He also battled prostate cancer with more patience, grace, and courage than anyone that I have ever met. It wasn't bad enough that he had to undergo chemotherapy and the painful, extensive testing that they do for bone marrow cancers, but having two cancers at the same time...come on now! Doctors appointments, hospital visits, bloodwork constantly being orderd.. can't the guy catch a break!. My grandfather's courage, albeit quiet at times, never wavered and it is this courage that he instilled in me that helps me get through those long, painful, "bad days".
With your continued prayers and support I know that I will not be a cancer patient forever. With my faith, courage and determination I am greatly looking forward to the day when I can proudly call myself a cancer survivor! I will try and be better about keeping you all updated on my progress as best I can. I pray that none of you ever have to undergo this fight, but if you do I promise to be right there in your corner encouraging you and giving you my love and support as you have done for me. Thank you and I love you all.
-Carleton
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