Beth Appleton Brown

Beth Brown, the wise and wonderful mother of Eric (his words and mine), has an amazing ability. She has many abilities in fact; one in particular though has become evident in our conversations as of late. As close to the wizard from the movie classic "The Wizard of Oz" as one can be, she is my cheerleader, confidante, and friend. A cancer survivor herself and former caretaker for an elderly cancer patient, Beth has invaluable experiences and empathetic advice that one can only get from a person who has been there before.

Her ability to be completely honest and open about her own cancer battles has helped me process and share mine. What really amazes me though is the fact that she can say "You just don’t know...There isn't a universal timeline for cancer and at times you can die as easily as you can live." At first her words echo my feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. Feelings that are common to most cancer patients from time to time during their fight. Her wonderful gift allows her to disseminate a harsh reality while at the same time making me feel better. I am able to worry less, and I can hope more knowing that she has been where I stand and she came out on top.

I quietly told her today that I had made my decision to shave my head before the next cycle of chemo destroys it completely. I confessed my nervous apprehension towards the whole thing. She simply acknowledged how I felt and told me that it was "normal". She said I would not be "normal" if I didn't feel scared and vulnerable with everything that is going on. Now I don't know if I would go as far as calling myself "normal", but I understood what she meant. It was her way of acknowledging and honoring my experience.

As we said our goodbyes over the telephone I thought about what she said. She conveyed such empathy and grace. I concluded that these characteristics definitely spring from her faith through her words. Honest words of painful personal emotion that I had needed to hear. Her calming advice helped me feel like everything can be healed, but more importantly- I will be okay. Peace of mind during these trying times is certainly a gift if you are lucky enough to receive it. I got a little piece of mine back from her and it has made all the difference.

Thank you. Thank you, Beth for bravely sharing your experiences with me. Your invaluable advice has calmed and guided me through these uncharted waters. You will never know how grateful I am or how lucky I feel to have you in my corner.